By Linda Anders, Certified Life & Relationship Coach, CPPM Newfield Network, Inc., CIH, Stillpoint Foundation, PAX graduate, Evolving Wisdom, Inc. CITO, CU, and Fem Power.
Understanding how men and women think and feel helps you create a more satisfying, healthy, and meaningful connection. There are certain DNA coded masculine and feminine traits we all possess but learning how they interplay is the key. The goal is to keep balanced, and in tune with what energy we show to others, how it serves us or does not serve us based on how others respond to us. Non-verbal energy flows from us and our words are not always aligned with our facial expressions or tone of voice. If you are not getting the result you desire, coaching can pull the cover off of the story one holds onto that can sabotage their effort to balance their personal energy map and get the result that serves them in the best possible way.
We have different domains in our life that bring out certain characteristics in us, be it more masculine or feminine energies. Both sexes often unconsciously use the two different energies to maintain their sense of command in the work domain because inside of that domain, we create, direct, and produce but in our love life we look to give, receive, and respond. Our love life looks for polarity inside of the dance in partnership. Wearing the different energy coats will yield different results.
Becoming keenly aware of how we interplay with our significant partner requires us to be reflective and watchful of how we communicate as well as what our inner voice and body are telling us. Our body is especially telling if we tune into our thoughts, what triggers us or inspires us and lights us up. Coaching offers insight and conversation models that become second nature and gives couples the toolbox to be pro-active.
Learning to FOCUS on what you can do to manifest a relationship that finds you feeling vibrant, loved, and sexy needs both sexes to understand the key masculine and feminine energies. Attraction comes in many different couple scenarios. Like does not always attract like. It is not that simple, because without understanding who we are, what we need, and are willing to give, patterns can ensue. It is the pattern that tells the story of our past and how that determines certain results in our life.
I find most relationship coaches always speak to the woman with “instructions” on how she should think, speak, and act in her relationship which puts the burden on the woman alone to create the love she desires! However, I want to speak to men as well as women and highlight several key characteristics unique to each sex so they can become keenly aware of how to enrich their committed relationship.
My daughter once told me at age 30 that she, “…wanted a man who was in control of himself, but not in control of her!” I thought, brilliant, she gets it because she was in control of herself and did her self-discovery to understand herself. She knew what she wanted and how to manifest it. She went about meeting a man who was in the driver’s seat of his own life so she could embrace her feminine side as a strong, successful woman.
In a nutshell, if you are a man — here is what self-aware women want and how to bring all your masculine qualities into play by becoming deeply in tune with your significant other.
Men are driven to provide and protect but are not usually taught how to recognize or express their feelings. Learning to communicate and not hold back shows a woman he is open and emotionally reachable.
Women are looking for a man who is decisive and plans his life accordingly. He does not give up and has ambition and interests. He does not dismiss her or shut her out. He is protective and cherishes her with his words and actions. He becomes her safe place to land, and she knows she can trust him. Trust is built with consistency.
Men also enjoy a challenge and when he can execute what he knows makes his partner happy, he then feels successful because men enjoy achieving a goal.
Men are looking for a woman who exudes a level of confidence. She knows what she wants, brings her best self to her relationships, and does not compromise her deal breakers.
She is not afraid to speak her mind, stays true to what she values, and asks for what she needs. This gives the man every opportunity to show her who he is, and she is strong enough to realize it is not about changing him but instead about seeing his true nature revealed over time as she stays true to herself.
She communicates clearly and this helps him show her his softer side. It sets him up for success. When a woman makes a request of her partner, he then has a goal, and his instinct is to achieve the goal. Show him your appreciation for all that he does in the name of pleasing you, and he will want to do more for you.
In a nutshell – here is what a man is looking for and how you as a woman can bring all your feminine qualities into play so you can manifest the love relationship you dream of.
When a woman stays in tune with her softer side, and her deep knowing (intuition,) she can let go and be fully present and expressed. If a woman allows all her senses to awaken and connects to her body, it enables the man in her life to see and understand what lights her up.
Lastly, she challenges him! Men enjoy a challenge and if she can master artful suggestion and let him know he will not disappoint her, he will step up. She shares what will make her happy and what he can do to make it happen. Throw your suggestions out to the man, allow him to follow through. Have patience and trust he will because he will want to.
If you want to introduce FUN into your relationship, think about the following questions.
What activities do you want to experience with your partner?
What events would you like to attend?
What qualities do you like to experience with the man in your life? So…
When you consider all the ways to add JUICE to your relationship and build your mutual attraction it will result in a loving, fulfilling, meaningful connection.
Consider a Coaching conversation focused for the sake of creating the love you desire…if not now, then when?